SIMON: Bizarrely dreadful!

SIMON: Amazingly dreadful!

SIMON: One of the worst voices I have ever heard in my life.

SIMON: Excruciatingly awful!

SIMON: What is the problem?

KRAMER: Would not you just love to sue Simon?

SIMON: Honestly! One of the worst I have heard in my life.

PARTICIPANT: The worst?

SIMON: Yeah! Honestly.

KRAMER: One fellow has already done that. Harry Keane was not a contestant on the American Idol. He claims to have been its creator, first conceiving the idea in 1995.

SIMON: I mean, are you serious?

KRAMER: Having produced more obscure musicals, Keane says that he tried to market a talent show called American Idol with mass e-mails, internet postings, and marketing materials to sell his idea to a larger production company or network. Nobody bought.

SIMON: I think we are just going to say no and wish you lots of luck if you would just go.

KRAMER: So imagine Keane’s surprise, when his vision came to life on a hit TV show.

SIMON: You are not serious.

KRAMER: No matter what Simon says, if Keane came up with the idea first, isn’t he entitled to some form of compensation? Not in federal court, he is not. By posting his great idea all over the internet, the court thought he blurted it out and could hardly expect to be paid for it.

SIMON: Oh my God! What a horrible nightmare.

For the legal television network, I am Irwin Kramer.